Forgotten

I may have forgotten how to feel…

Yeah, I forgot.

I was busying myself.

I thought pain was hell.

No,

Busying yourself to avoid pain is hell.

At some point, you will forget it,

Because you are teaching yourself not to remember how to feel.

Yeah, I forgot,

And now I am in hell.

I am confused.

I don’t remember why I used to be sad.

I’ve forgotten memories,

The days I cried,

Screamed for help,

And lay in bed doing nothing.

I don’t remember why I did all that.

The faces are blinking in and out, but I don’t hate or love them.

They just come and go.

I forgot how I used to treat them.

I don’t know how I used to smile, think, or look at people.

I don’t know…

But I must have been a little better than I am now

Because I had people.

Maybe I am better now

Because I don’t have people…

They forgot, you forgot…

I remember only a few,

Four or five.

Forgetting is not an escape.

It is a kind of hell.

Remember everything, every single moment,

Because once you start to forget, you will lose yourself with the moments you forget.

Sometimes, you are nothing more than the memories you had, good or bad.

Remember people, moments, things, places, everything. Revisit them again and again,

So you don’t lose yourself.